Feb 14 2009
Introducing…Maladjusted!
Hi folks,
Well gosh darn, aren’t you the lucky ones? Today we’re introducing you (and the rest of the world): quick hint - HIDE WORLD! Run, run away! to… Miss Maladjusted.
By way of introduction, Miss Maladjusted; and don’t even THINK of addressing her sans the Miss prefix; you’re already in enough trouble as is.
Quick synopsis, Miss Mal is the worlds foremost research specialist in the field of…wait for it here…Personal Ads Placement and Societal Male Ego Analysis Research! That’s right! PAP-SMEAR, recognized around the world, which I believe gave birth to the term “small world”, as THE leading expert in the field of personal ads analysis. (Note: Currently she is the only person in this field, which, in NO way diminishes her from being the leading researcher in said field).
Miss Mal, as it is, has generously consented to sharing some of her thoughts and mind-crimes with you today and in the future. Trust me. Just say, preferably in a droning monotone: “Thank you , Mal”. And leave it at that. After you’ve been subjected uh, I meant honored by, her presence, you will be able to correspond with and ask advice of the Goddess.
Everything you thought you were properly addressing in your quest for female companionship is wrong, even the stuff you’ve been doing correctly; wrong, just plain and fucking simply wrong. (She’ll also address those of you who do fuck simply, Whew, I do not EVEN want to be in the same blogosphere when that comes down.) And, NO!!! Blogosphere is NOT the recently deposed governor of Illinois.
I do believe that that is enough of an introduction for Miss Mal, I shall let her take over from here…
Ever read an ad that advertises “Bonus points for…(insert something unattainably ridiculous)”?
What is it that the “bonus points” actually get men?
1-5 instead of dirty looks behind your back you get them to your face
6-10 instead of the typical “I’m FINE!” answer when something is obviously wrong.. you get ignored completely.
11-15 instead of being accused of talking to other women, it is just limited to being accused talking to your exes.
16-20 instead of slamming shit around in a very passive aggressive manner during your football game, your credit cards take a trip to the mall.
21-25 instead of sending you 50 texts a day, your house is driven by 50 times a day.
26-30 instead of withholding sex..she demands it all the time..missionary with no emotion.
31-35 instead of talking about how you don’t measure up to her moms expectations, she just compares you to her ex boyfriend.
36-40 instead of the extent of “feminine issues” in the tampon aisle, you get the details in full on the comfort of your own sofa.
41-45 instead of cheating on you, she just flirts with every male in sight then blames it on your imagination.
46-50 You are forgiven for not being a mind reader..this time, next time you should know better.
What is it that the “bonus points” actually get women?
1-50 sex
Ok, Ok, that was stereotypical. It is a proven fact that men know very little about women (not by any fault of your own). However, the only thing that men do have a grasp on is “where it goes” and even the porn industry has ruined that..leaving men confused, and women pissed and unsatisfied..People think that I am a man hater..not true. All these years I’ve argued with women when they are comparing men to pigs or dogs, Unfair comparison. Pigs are smart..and dogs are loyal.
Ouch..that sounded like drama and baggage…Any one want to send me hate mail now?..bring it on: Miss_Maladjusted@yahoo.com
Miss Maladjusted and the study of Men
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