Mar 03 2009
Happy Square Root Day!! (03/03/09)
Get it! 3 x 3=9! Okey, Dokey then…moving right along here. As I am confident that you may/might have some place to be today; (what’s UP with that work thing anyway?), In honor of “square root”day, here are three stories to pique your funny bone this morning.
As Hillary Clinton completes her visit to Israel she had heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for the last thirty-five years.So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
‘Pardon me , sir, I’m Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State from the USA. What’s your name?’
‘Morris Weinstein,’ he replied.
‘Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?’
‘For about 60 years.’
‘60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?’
‘I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.’
‘I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.’
‘I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man.’
‘How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?’
‘Like I’m talking to a fucking wall.’
It’s a convicts first day in prison and he’s terrified and crying. An older convict comes up to him and says, “Hey, prison is not such a bad place. For instance, Do you like movies ?”And he says, “Yea, I like movies.”
“Well,” the older guy says, “Every Monday they show a great movie in the rec room.”
“Wow, that’s good.”, the new guy says.
“Do you like baseball? ” The older convict asks.
“Sure.” The new guy says.
“Well, every Tuesday we organize teams and play a few games.”
“That’s good.” The new guy says.
“Do you like Italian food ?” Asks the older guy.
“Sure I do.” says the new guy.
“Every Wednesday night in the cafeteria they cook a big Italian dinner. Says the older guy.
“Wow,” says the new guy.
“Let me ask you,” the older convict says.
“Are you a homosexual?”
“Uh, no,” the new guy replies.
“Ahh,” the older convict says, “you’re not going to like Thursdays’ at all”
People are much more violently opposed to fur rather than leather
because it’s much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
And, finally, from the late George Carlin: “Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”
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