Through the Looking Glass

Those of you who are following the trials and tribulations of Miss Mal, dating research scientist, will be pleased as punch (WTF does that mean anyway?), to see that, yet again, we’ve been honored by her presence on these pages.

Today Mal shares with us the hazards of going out of town on a date! Translation: Being stuck in God’s country with Satan’s’ child.

Miss Mal had deigned to visit Sedona , a town in northern Arizona, most noted for it’s amazing ability to function as Flypaper for Freaks. But I digress…

Herein, then, is genuine dialogue from her “intimate” road trip.

(Oh, it should be noted that Miss Mal was doing her “monthly penitence” i.e. riding the cotton pony, at the time…)

   Scene 1 Act 1 - a hotel room in the desert:

Him: Blah blah blah blah blah (something about shit I don’t care about like guitars, trucks, politics… to which I may have gladly pretended to be interested in if I wasn’t PMSing)

Me: So lets say that everything you just bitched about to me is absolutely true, what are you personally going to do about Bush’s treason?

Him: some stupid reply that didn’t answer my question

Me: ok but what are you personally going to do about it?…..

Him: justifying the first retarded answer that he gave me

Me: No the answer is “nothing” you are going to do absolutely nothing about it except bitch.

Him: (ray of light and harp sound) I guess you are right.

To make matters worse he thinks he is a good guitar player…This is how that conversation went:

Him: strum strum strum…wait…oh..its..strum strum strum..no…hold on..strum strum strum..there it is..doesn’t it sound just like the intro to (insert some song that I have never heard of)

Me: I don’t know that song

Him: here let me play it again

Me: no really its ok

Him: strum strum strum..do you know it now?

Me: uhhh…nooo

Him: (grabs CD) well I will play it for you…plays some song that mildly resembles something that sounded close to being in the family in a distant cousin sort of way of the song he was strumming) what do you think?

Me: I am not good at ego petting so you may want to ask someone else

Him: You didn’t like it

Me: You’ve read my disclaimer..

so that is how the weekend went until the wrath of Eve was unleashed and my hormones put me in a better mood…

Part Two of “Miss Mal does Sedona”

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